Reminder from the Father

As I was sitting in the Lord's presence the other day, this is the message that He spoke to my heart:

"Stop worrying about all of that stuff. It will come when it comes. Leave it all behind- all your cares and worries. I've called you to live freely! Enjoy the life that I have for you! Get out there and have fun! Walk in love. Walk in joy. Walk in My peace. Walk with Me. I am always beside you. For all of eternity I am here. So stop acting like I'm not. Stop acting like I'm not big enough or strong enough to carry it all- all of your burdens, all of your pain; I have already carried it all. I carried the whole burden of sin, in it's entirety on the cross. It is finished. I took care of it completely. So stop acting like your worries, cares, and desires are too big of a burden for Me to carry. Stop. Hand it ALL over to Me. Lay it all down, and Don't come back for it, let Me handle it. Do you know anyone that can do it better? Cause you sure can't!
 I am here for you. Stop trying to be big and strong and do it on your own; I didn't create you to do it alone. I prepared this journey for the both of us- not just you, not just Me, but for both of us, together. So are you ready? To live this life with Me? To acknowledge Me by your side? Every step of the way, trusting in Me. Surrendering continually to Me. Allowing Me to guide you-not the other way around!
Remember what I said?

"For I am yours and you are Mine." 

I meant it when I said it, and I still do mean it. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. You love being with Me? I love being with YOU! Beside you! You are the greatest joy to Me! I love being the reason for that beautiful smile on your face. You are My beauty- always remember, that I am yours and you are Mine- Forever."

He Knows

God gave his whole self- everything He was for us. His only son. His life. The very breath He breathed, He gave it to us. All that He had was stripped away for us. All because He was and is in love with us. Are you in love with Him? He is in love with you. So much so that He knows everything about you. Every thought, breath, desire, delight, dream, hope, fear, wonder- He knows it ALL. Everything that has to do with you: everything that goes on with you & in you, around you,  and everything that concerns you- He knows. Because He loves. He loves deeply, all of you. He is in love with you. More so than you or any human mind can ever understand. He loves you- simple as that. No matter what you do, He loves you.

"Jesus, lover of my soul. Jesus, I will never let you go. You've taken me from the mighty grave, You set my feet upon the rock and now I know; that I love You, I need You. Though my world may fall, I'll never let You go. My Savior, my closest friend. I will worship You until the very end."

Something I came to realize recently:

I could try and do everything on my own. Plan out my own future. Decide on my own career. I could do everything and take all of the appropriate steps for a "happy life". It would probably even look great from the outside, but it would be pointless. That's not what I want. I want to abide in Christ. To grow closer and become more acquainted with Him. To learn to trust fully in Him. I belong to Him. So where do I go from here? I trust in God. I am patient in knowing that He has it all in His hands. Does that mean I'm going to be sitting around, boringly waiting? NO. I'll be living out the beautiful, adventurous life that God has planned out for me. Growing closer to Him and the wonderful people that He has placed in my life. Growing in the ability to walk in love with all of His beloved children. 

God is love. He is my Rock. His beauty is evident everywhere you look; it's amongst the trees, the sky, and even in the intricate architecture all around us. He is beauty. The air we breathe smells of His love and beauty. His lovely aroma is everywhere. Beautiful Lord. 

Time to Say Goodbye

Well, my high school volleyball career has officially come to an end. Wow. I honestly can't even believe that 6 years has come and gone. What happened to all of the time?! I can honestly say that it was an amazing experience! Boy oh boy am i gonna miss it! I love all of the girls on my team!! They are the ones that made the season worth it. It was so fun playing along side all of them!

I can remember back to seventh grade when some of the girls showed up to tryouts in their basketball shorts and how all of us had no idea what to expect. Now, speed up to six years later and after persevering through loss after loss we ended with a winning season! What a blessing to be able to end my senior year of volleyball with the best season that MCA has had in so many years!

Now, here's a little something to my fellow seniors, the ones that have been there for everything:
 - every loss
- the embarrassment of playing heritage every year
- going through coach after coach
- a whole season without any wins
- all those times we just wanted to quit and be done with it all
- all of the emotions, oh my goodness, soo many emotions
- every, "look at these hands" hahaha
- every "pump it up"
- every "ahhh YOU BEAST!"
- every "ahhhh shoot em up bang, bang, ACE!"

We grew up and learned so much this season. Praise the Lord for every win and for everything that helped us to grow and come out stronger.
I had so much fun over these past six years playing volleyball for Maranatha!!

I am really going to miss playing with all of my team. You are all SO wonderful and I love you! I am truly going to miss all of it!

Journey

Well, I haven't been here in a while. It feels good to be back writing again.

This year has started off in full swing. It's like school never ended; right back with all of the homework and stressful tests and sports practices. I can't believe that this is my last year here at MCA. This has been my life for as long as I can remember. hah not to sound all dramatic or anything. But I've been here since pre-K. Fourteen years is a very long time.It's just so crazy to think that i was just entering seventh gade and now i'm looking at collleges, signing up for tours and deciding on my major. Wow, this is sooo crazy how am I old enough for this?? I'm gonna be in college in a year, one year, that's nothing! especially how quickly time has been flying by! Geezzz. It's so weird because I don't know anything else. The idea of leaving it in a few months and starting something different somewhere totally knew blows my mind. There are so many unknowns that puzzle me. The whole idea of deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life is very intense, for lack of a better word. And it's all exciting at the same time. Being able to leave home and go off and start your own adventure, your own life, with nobody there to cling to or live off of. Wow. I know it's going to be hard, but being by myself in a totally new place all by myself excites me; the fact that it forces you to grow and mature in ways you never thought possible is so great. It is all such an experience that I'm looking forward to. I know it will be bittersweet, but I am excited to branch out and begin to discover all that God has planned for me.

 I'm ready for the journey set before me. 


Now all I have to do is live up senior year! hah I know all of this college talk might be a little early but it's been rolling around in my head a lot lately so here it is.

My Dear

"I love you my dear. You are everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed!"

Everyone has the desire in them to be loved and to love. Every girl longs for the day when the man of her dreams is going to come along and sweep her off her feet. A lot of girls wait hopelessly, getting into any relationship she can to fulfill this desire, even if it's only for a short period of time. Truth is, every one longs for someone that they can share their life with. We want someone to laugh with, cry with, and to simply just live life with; to be with someone forever, someone that will always love us no matter what-someone that we can love with all of our being. 

As I found myself longing for love, God began to show me that He is all that I need. Now this isn't to say that dating is bad, but that we shouldn't be longing for that earthly relationship more than we long for God-our true Beloved. When I was longing for a boyfriend, I was so unfulfilled; it left me unsettled. But once I began to look to God and allow Him to take over this area of my life, peace came. I know that I can trust Him with the deepest desires of my heart. Once I began to hand over all my desires of finding a boyfriend/future husband, God began to reveal to me yet another thing about Himself. A Bethel song says, "I love you my dear. You are everything I ever wanted, everything I ever needed". God is my dear, and I am His dear! Just as we sing that to Him, He sings it back to us! I don't have to worry about finding fulfillment in a relationship, because I know that as I continue on my pursuit of God, He will bring the right guy around at the right time. It's so important for us to entrust our relationships and desires into God's hands because He knows who the perfect person is for us, and He has perfect timing! I know that He is preparing my heart for the person that He has for me, along with his heart.

Allow God to guide you whenever you're entering into a relationship, because He knows whether it's the right one or not. Now I'm not saying that everyone should only date one person, then marry that person. I'm just saying to keep God involved in your dating life, because He cares about you and He has some real good input, if you allow Him to take part! He created you and formed your heart in His hands. He planted your desires in you, so don't you think He knows how to fulfill them? View God as your beloved and pursue His heart and getting to know Him as you would a boy you like. Let God fill your thoughts and time. Allow Him to be first in your heart. 

I am my Beloved's and He is mine!

Snow

So.. It really needs to snow! I'm really hoping that we just get a crazy amount of snow right before Christmas! Cause to have a Christmas without snow is just unheard of :)haha.

The best part of winter is when you rush and put on all of your snow gear and tie your boots as fast as you can so you can hurry up and get outside to jump in the snow. Then you sled down the yard with your brothers, every time trying to go faster than the one before. Then you each build a fort and proceed to have a snowball fight Then after it's all done and you can no longer feel your toes, you go inside and your mom just finished making homemade apple cider and caramel corn, and you sit by the fire to warm up while eating your freshly made goodies. Winter is simply one of the best times of the year! I love it sooo much!

"May your days be merry and bright, and may all your Christmases be white."

Masks

So tell me, do you ever wear a mask? Before you say no, think about it. I know I do.
Why do we feel the need to wear masks? Well, you may put one on when you go to school to get away from all the crap going on at home, or maybe you're scared to trust anyone with what's really going on in your life, so you find it easier to just put a smile on and go about your life as if nothing's wrong, all the while on the inside it feels as if your life is crumbling to pieces. I encourage you to take a step and let people in, tell someone what's going on instead of pushing it all down on the inside of you. This is something that I'm still learning to do. When something would happen in my life I found it a lot easier to go to school and pretend like nothing was wrong, I continued to do this day after day. The only problem with that is you'll find yourself breaking down because you can't hold it in any longer. People get so good at hiding their problems that no one can ever tell that you even have a problem.
Why am i saying all this? To help you to see that wearing masks is not a good thing! People don't always put on masks to hide something big, sometimes they're just hiding little things. Instead of seeing someone in the hallway and saying, "Hey how's it going", and responding, "good." take time to genuinely ask people how there doing and genuinely respond when people ask you. Now I'm not saying to go spill your guts to everybody you see, but make sure that you have at least one or two close friends that you can be real with. Tell them when something is going wrong, or when something happens at home, etc. Have people that you can be real with about everything. The most important one to be completely real with is God. He knows exactly what you are going through, no matter what the situation is and He won't ever leave you! He's a really great listener and longs for you to spend time with Him.
"Now that we know what we have-Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God-let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all- all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help."  Hebrews 4:14-16 msg

Take off the mask! Get rid of the fear of what people are going to think & just be real with people & most of all with yourself  & God.